Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Why I Wouldn't Make a Good Jedi

Having recently viewed Star Wars: Episode III, I began considering what it would be like to have Jedi powers living in this day and age. At first I thought it would be cool. I would very much like to stay on the couch and simlpy "call" the remote control to my hand or better yet just use the Force to change the channels. Having faster the human reflexes would have a tremendous upside since I could drive my car faster or avoid the various travails of life. Of course jumping up thirty feet into the air or falling off a building and being able to control your fall has its obvious perks. However, I started thinking about the number of ways I might misue the Force. I am not talking about dark side abilities since I really have no need to shoot lighting from my fingers or choke anyone. However, there are times when I would be tempted to reach out and stop the flow of traffic so I can turn out of my subdivision. Of course it would result in a huge accident which would no doubt cause someone pain, suffering, and possibly death. I would probably use it to change red stoplights or open doors which I am too lazy to open with my hand. I could probably find a use for the Jedi mind trick, especially when dealing with a snotty cashier or customer service worker at any given retail store but then again how many weak minded people are working retail these days(wait a minute, never mind) I think the most daunting problem would be the lightsaber. I think I would have a lot of trouble not paying attention to the scope of the saber's length so I would accidentally cut the armrest off the couch or sever my own foot or even sadly enough accidentally decapitate the dog if he got too close.

Yes it is fairly obvious that having Jedi powers and laser sword which can slice through flesh and bone in a split second might have too many negative reprecussions in my daily life. Though levitating objects and calling something to my hand from the across the room would be a nice addition to my life and no doubt make me a lazy slob.

Comments:
1. I couldn't wear so much brown and tan all the time.

2. When I die, I don't want hang around as a blue hologram.

3. I'm probably allergic to midichlorians.
 
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